March 2012
February 2012
2 tags
2 tags
lead singer: this song goes out to anyone whos ever been told theyre not good enough an-
audience member: YOU'RE FUCKING HOT. TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES. TOUCH WHERE I PEE.
1 tag
My house was burnt down today. Everything I own is gone. I have nothing left.
“When you don’t have many friends and you don’t have a social life you’re kind of...”
– Tim Burton (via les-simper)
2 tags
Last night was the sixth sex dream i’ve had about jeffrey dahmer.
Love me some Dahmer.
“When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things: One part...”
– Edmund Kemper (via je-ff)
1 tag
how do i make friends on tumblr? like…what do i do? should i take a picture of flowers and dedicate it to them. do i always send them nice anon messages? cute fan mail? should i send them nudes suggesting we should be friends? help me.
wvnderbar:
if i was a porn star and some guy came up to me saying he was a huge fan i’d thank him but i probably wouldn’t shake his hand.
“Ecstatic sex can generate such intense arousal that the lovers lose any sense of...”
– Stella Resnick (The Pleasure Zone)
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
